Virus, Free
CLOSED
I'm embarrassed to say how long it took me to notice her. Embarrassed has two S's, two E's, and two R's, of course, but it's the D that will trouble you. There are never enough D's.
I think, maybe, my mind just wasn't quiet enough. Before, when everyone was busy, and me too, there was too much noise to hear properly. Or listen, maybe. Is it listen or hear? I think it's hear first, and listen later. The trouble with listen is the I. You get used to it after a while but it's skinnier than the rest, so you have to leave a little space around it. The I. Or it looks funny. It's skinny, though, so when you leave it all alone, sometimes it can tilt, which looks worse.
Now that I'm not busy, or maybe now that mostly everyone is not busy, which makes me bored or lonely or, I don't know, maybe just slow, I can hear better. Slow has a W, which you would think would just be an upside down M, but it isn't. It's sort of flayed out, where the M stands up straight. You can use an upside down M if you have to, but it looks different. You definitely don't want both kinds next to each other.
STAY HOME
STAY SAFE
WE WILL REOPEN SOON
We talk all the time now. I hope she doesn't go away when I get busy again. When we get busy again. If we get busy again. Doesn't is a contraction, which we can't use anymore because I lost the last apostrophe. An apostrophe is just an upside down comma, but now we don't have either.
I don't think she's my conscience. That doesn't seem right. More just like a friend who is always with me. Which is weird because it probably means she was with me when I wasn't paying any attention. When I was too busy to hear her. To notice her. I feel pretty bad about that.
Parasite seems like a mean word. Also, I'm not sure if she would be my parasite or I would be hers. I like friend better, although it's still not quite right. She's more like a mom or a mentor. A teacher maybe. Teacher has an H, which can be trouble, too. You always run out of H's. Maybe because of the. Or maybe the letter people just don't give it enough credit. Or maybe they do, and it is their sneaky way to get you to buy another set.
You can fake an H with two I's and a dash, but it's a little sloppy, and it takes time. I don't mind taking time. Even when I'm busy. When my mind is busy. But if it's cold, it's hard because you have to lay the letters on top of each other, and they don't quite fit, and your fingers get numb before you can get it done, and you have to take a bunch of breaks to warm up your hands.
WE ARE IN THIS
TOGETHER
I don't use the stick. I use a ladder. I like to feel the letters in my hand. Like touching each one, sliding them to just the right place so they're centered. Also, the rails aren't quite even, so the letters sometimes get stuck. It's better to do it by hand.
She thinks so too. She thinks it's good to touch the letters. To personally address each one as it goes in. To put myself in the sign. In the words. In the thought. She thinks it puts some small part of me into the minds of the people who read it. Like I'm transferring myself or something. I don't really understand it, but she thinks it's good, and so do I.
DO NOT FORGET
TO TAKE
CARE OF EACH OTHER
I don't agree with her about everything.
Like when I was walking in the woods behind the park. I'm not sure if we're allowed to do that or not. Allowed has two L's which can be a problem if you have other L words, but I always think they look nice together. The park is closed, but walking is still allowed. The woods aren't really the park, so I think it's ok. She didn't really seem to care.
I picked up a lucky rock. I do that sometimes. I don't always keep them, which is maybe a mistake, because then you are throwing away the luck, which is worse, I think, than never picking up the luck at all. She thinks it's silly. She says nothing is lucky, but I think she's wrong. I kept that one, just to show her. I didn't even put it in my rock collection. I just kept it in my pocket. My jacket pocket. I don't always wear my jacket, but when I do I feel the rock, and it makes me feel lucky. Jacket has a J and a K, which is both trouble and not-trouble. J's don't come up much and they have a nice swoop at the bottom that I like to look at. K's are like H's though. There are never enough. K's show up more than you'd think.
BE PATIENT
Mostly she tells me nice things. Helps me remember some food I can cook with, maybe something old from the back of the fridge. Or gives me ideas for the sign. She's good at that. Or tells me how nice I am. Sometimes she just tells me stories. I like her voice. Hearing her voice and listening to it. But it's quiet. I think if we get busy again, if I get busy, I won't be able to hear her anymore. That would make me sad.
She's not angry about the rock. She just thinks I'm silly. Like I'm a foolish child and she's a wise grown up. I think she's wrong though. Sometimes grownups forget the important stuff we knew as children. Sometimes children have special wisdom. Like wise fools. She knows that too, and smiles when I tell her. Wisdom has a W and an M, on opposite sides. It can be nice to use a W for both, to make it more symmetrical. Symmetrical has two M's in a row, so you should always use the same letter for both.
She especially likes it when we sit. Yesterday, when it was sunny, we sat on the back porch and stared at the apple tree all afternoon. Sometimes she told me stories, but mostly we just sat staring at the tree. There was a light breeze, and the leaves trembled. That was nice. The apples aren't growing yet. Apple has two P's. Apple Pie has three.
Maybe we'll make a pie in the fall.
THIS WILL BE OVER
SOON
I want to walk to the park again. Today it is raining, which is a good day for sitting, but yesterday it was sunny, so I'm sorry I didn't go for a walk. I don't think she likes walking as much as I do. She says it is better to let the world come to us than for us to come to the world. She's probably right. It's what the government says, too.
At first I was sad because I wanted to walk. Then I was happy because I knew I could walk if I wanted to, even if it made her sad. I could stop sitting at any time and go to the woods behind the park. Any time can be one word or two. After I thought about that I was happier about sitting. Her stories were nice.
Her stories had some symmetry but were not symmetrical. They reminded me of making the words centered on the sign, which is hard to do when you are on the ladder. Sometimes, you need to climb down and look at it from a distance. There are little screws that you can count to figure out if everything is centered, but sometimes I miscount. I always look at the sign from across the street before I put the ladder away.
DO NOT
BE AFRAID
Maybe we'll sit again today. Right now, I'm writing. She likes sitting better, but says writing is ok. She says it's best when my mind is quiet, and that my mind gets unquiet when I write. Also when I walk. I don't know that she's right. My mind is quieter than it's ever been. Quiet has a Q, which would be fine if it didn't always need a U, but it does. Sometimes you run out of U's, which is trouble because they are hard to fake.
WE ARE HERE
TO
HELP
She told me I'm going to die soon, but it's ok because I did such a nice job staying still. I didn't understand that, so I asked her. She said it can be difficult to make friends who will stay still, but that when we do, we are always happier. Difficult has two F's. You can fake an F with an upside down L and a dash, but you have to face it the wrong side out. I think she's right. I do feel happy.
She thinks I should have a real friend. A visitor. Another person. That makes me a little scared because the government says we should be alone, but she says I shouldn't be. She says it will be nice. I think a visitor might make my mind unquiet but she doesn't mind. She thinks a friend would be good. Someone to sit with. Someone else to tell stories to. Someone else to make happy.
Today we'll sit again. When the rain stops, I'll change the sign.
It will say:
VIRUS
FREE